Q. Dr. Ainsworth, you state that people only learn in two ways, either through love, or from pain. What do you mean by that?
A. Most of us have had people who loved us and therefore taught us how to live well. They did so because they loved us. Had we accepted what they taught us, and adopted it, we would have probably avoided a lot of pain in our lives. Rather than do so, many of us rejected the loving directives given to us, and as a result ended up with pain in our lives. As a rule that pain usually helped us learn what our parents tried to teach us from the first.
There are sub-categories of these two principles, but when we push all the garbage aside, at the end of the day, we find the basic principle that drives the issue, is either a form of love or a manifestation of pain.
Q. Jerry, you say that you decided to just release the anger that you had toward your university administration. Is that an over-simplification, or was it really that simple?
A. It really was that simple. But then you must appreciate the alternative – that I would probably die, if I did not turn lose of the anger. This turning lose becomes less simple, as the alternatives are less disastrous. If the anger isn't really going to kill, but just complicate our lives, we use all kinds of rationalizations that allow us to hang to the anger – as most of us really do not want to turn lose of it. However, when we really get serious about getting rid of the anger, as a rule it can be done in a forte night. As stated in the book, there are traumas in ones life that require some kind of professional or religious intervention, as opposed to easily turning lose of a simple offense. But for those simple injustices in our lives, turning lose can be as easy as we choose to make it – or as difficult.
Q. Dr. Ainsworth, can a person really tell if they are in love, as opposed to one of its counterfeits?
A. Yes a person can easily tell if they are in love. But first the person must realize what love is. Love is a learned behavior, (as opposed to the feeling of love). It is comprised of a variety of very wholesome attributes – such as honest, kind, truthful, open, ethical and charitable behaviors. If a person behaves with these attributes, they are behaving in a loving way, as this is what love is. These may not reflect the emotional, hormonal aspects of love, (Fromm calls the Feeling of love), but it is these attributes that sustain the relationship over the long haul, not the emotional feelings. Obviously, it is ideal to have both – love, as well as the sweet feelings that often attend it.
Q. Dr. Ainsworth. Your book appears to revolve around your twelve ingredients of health. What makes them so unique?
A. These twelve ingredients came about as a result of my trying to explain the inter-relatedness of the physical, mental and spiritual needs of a person to university students. It is important to remember that I call these twelve "Primary" ingredients, as there are certainly others in addition to these twelve. These are just the elementary ones.
What makes these twelve primary ingredients so unique is their simplicity. By using the four known ingredients of a person's physical health, it is then easy to transpose those to the mental and spiritual domains. Not only does this make the totality of our needs easy to understand, they also can be used to assess the current status of a person's individual health.
Q. I have worked in large organizations for many years, and know how difficult it is to bring about change. What made changing Griffin hospital so easy?
A. First of all, many of the changes at Griffin began years before I arrived. The change was well on its way when I joined the administration. And I hope I did not give the impression that it was easy. In fact, not only was it not easy, but our efforts ultimately got all of the change agents fired. Having said that, there is one lynch-pen that all the change revolved around – and that was a CEO who was willing to risk it all on the hope of creating a better place to heal people.
Q. Jerry, how successful were you at instituting alternative health care at Griffin hospital?
A. Of all the changes we attempted, this was one of the most challenging. In addition to combating basic survival issues of individual medical disciplines, there were the traditional organizational power and ego issues. Although these issues were certainly obstacles, they were not the major handicaps. The major barrier was simple ignorance – not understanding non-traditional principles and disciplines. One other difficulty, which I understand still exists, is figuring out how to finance, organize and bill for, non-traditional remedies offered at the hospital.
